is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
