I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
