but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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