The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
