Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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