I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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