Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You did what with his pubic hair?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
