So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
