While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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