remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
