he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We need to get me chipped asap
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
