Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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