One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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