I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
