He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dick very happy bro
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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