I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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