Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.

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(925): View more from California

He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.

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(607): View more from New York

Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

(845): View more from New York

Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.

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(786): View more from Florida

Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.

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