dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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