as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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