College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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