just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
