I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
