he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
