I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
