Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
