are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
