just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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