No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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