Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
