guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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