i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
