You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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