just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
