Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
