Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
