bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
