shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I faked an abortion last night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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