i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
