the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
