Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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