So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Damn victory sex feels great
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
