new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
