Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
