is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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