i permit you to call me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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