I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
