I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
