No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
