The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
