That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
