would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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