Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
